Part 14 (1/2)

”We're in big big trouble,” said n.o.bby. trouble,” said n.o.bby.

”No, no, no, this is a Clue what we have found by patient detectoring,” said Sergeant Colon. ”And it's going to be a feather in our caps and no mistake when Mister Vimes hears about it!”

”How much do you reckon there is?”

”Got to be hundreds and hundreds of dollars' worth,” said Colon. ”And that's a lot of money to a Klatchian. You can probably live like a king for a year on a dollar, in Klatch.”

”It wasn't very very patient detectoring,” said n.o.bby doubtfully. ”All I did was look under the bed.” patient detectoring,” said n.o.bby doubtfully. ”All I did was look under the bed.”

”Ah, but that's because you is trained,” said Colon. ”Your basic civilian civilian wouldn't think of that, right? Ah, it all begins to make sense!” wouldn't think of that, right? Ah, it all begins to make sense!”

”Does it? Why would the Klatchians give him money to shoot a Klatchian?” said n.o.bby.

Colon tapped the side of his nose. ”Politics,” he said.

”Ah, politics politics,” said n.o.bby. ”Ah, well, politics politics. I see. Politics Politics. Right. So why?”

”Aha,” said Colon again, tapping the other side of his nose.

”Why're you picking your nose, sarge?”

”I'm tapping tapping it,” said Colon severely. ”That's to show I'm in the know.” it,” said Colon severely. ”That's to show I'm in the know.”

”In the nose,” said n.o.bby cheerfully.

”It's just the sort of underhand cunning thing they'd do,” said Colon.

”Payin' us to kill them?” said n.o.bby.

”Ah, you see, some Klatchian n.o.b gets topped here here, and then they they can send a snotty note saying, 'You killed our big n.o.b, you foreign nephews of dogs, this means war!' See? A perfect excuse.” can send a snotty note saying, 'You killed our big n.o.b, you foreign nephews of dogs, this means war!' See? A perfect excuse.”

”Do you need need an excuse to have a war?” said n.o.bby. ”I mean, who for? Can't you just say, 'You got lots of cash and land but I've got a big sword so divvy up right now, chop chop?' That's what an excuse to have a war?” said n.o.bby. ”I mean, who for? Can't you just say, 'You got lots of cash and land but I've got a big sword so divvy up right now, chop chop?' That's what I I'd do,” said Corporal n.o.bbs, military strategist. ”And I wouldn't even say that that until after I'd attacked.” until after I'd attacked.”

”Ah, but that's 'cos you don't know about politics,” said Colon. ”You can't do that stuff anymore. Mark my words, this case has got politics written all over it. That's why old Vimes put me on it, depend upon it. Politics. Young Carrot's all very well, but you need an experienced man of the world in these delicate political situations.”

”You've certainly got the nose-tapping just right,” said n.o.bby. ”I generally miss.”

But he felt troubled, if not in his nose then in whatever small organ propelled his blood around his body. This didn't feel right. Nothing much in n.o.bby's life had ever felt right, so he knew very well how the feeling felt.

He looked up at the bare walls and down at the rough floorboards.

”There's a bit of sand on the floor,” he said.

”Another clue, then,” said Colon happily. ”A Klatchian has been here. b.u.g.g.e.r all else but sand in Klatch. Still got some in his sandals.”

n.o.bby opened the window. It gave on to a gently sloping roof. Someone could get through it easily and be away over the tiles and into the maze of chimneys.

”He could've gone in and out this way, sarge,” he volunteered.

”Good point, n.o.bby. Write that down. Evidence of conniving and sneaking around.”

n.o.bby peered down. ”Here, there's gla.s.s outside, Fred...”

Sergeant Colon joined him at the stricken window. One of the panes had been smashed. Outside, gla.s.s glittered on the tiles.

”That could be a clue, eh?” said n.o.bby, hopefully.

”It certainly is,” said Sergeant Colon. ”See the gla.s.s fell outside outside the window? Everyone knows you look at which way the gla.s.s falls. I reckon he was just testing his bow and it went off while it was loaded.” the window? Everyone knows you look at which way the gla.s.s falls. I reckon he was just testing his bow and it went off while it was loaded.”

”That's clever, sarge,” said n.o.bby.

”That's detectoring detectoring,” said Colon. ”It's no good just looking looking at things, n.o.bby. You got to at things, n.o.bby. You got to think think straight, too.” straight, too.”

”Cecil, sarge.”

”That's Frederick, Cecil. Come on, I think we've wrapped this up nicely. Old Vimes says he wants a report toot sweet.”

n.o.bby looked out of the broken window. The roof ab.u.t.ted the end wall of a much larger warehouse. For a moment he found himself thinking bendy rather than straight, but he reasoned that his thinking was only a corporal's thinking, and worth far less per thought than a sergeant's thinking, so he kept his private thoughts to himself.

As they went downstairs Mrs. Spent watched them suspiciously through a barely opened doorway at the far end of the hall, clearly ready to slam it shut at the first suggestion of any s.e.xual magnetism.

”It's not as if I even know where to get get a s.e.xual magnet,” n.o.bby muttered. ”And she didn't even laugh.” a s.e.xual magnet,” n.o.bby muttered. ”And she didn't even laugh.”

...Also, we went to the bow shops in the Street of Cunning Artificers and showed the iconograph to the man in Burleigh and Stronginthearm, who vouchsafed, that is him, e.g., he was referring to the Diseased...

”Oh, my...” Vimes's lips moved slightly as his gaze went back up the page.

...also in addition to the Klatchian money you could tell one of them had been there because of, e.g., the sand on the floor...

”He'd still got sand in his sandals?” murmured Vimes. ”Good grief.”

”Sam?”

Vimes looked up from his reading.

”Your soup will be cold,” said Lady Sybil from the far end of the table. ”You've been holding that spoonful in the air for the last five minutes by the clock.”

”Sorry, dear.”

”What are you reading?”

”Oh, just a little masterpiece,” said Vimes, pus.h.i.+ng Fred Colon's report aside.

”Interesting, is it?” said Lady Sybil a little sourly.

”Practically unparalleled,” said Vimes. ”The only things they haven't found are the bunch of dates and the camel hidden under the pillow...”