Part 21 (1/2)

Peewee gasped. ”Why, that's Latin!”

What do you do when you meet a Legionary? Right after a cave man? I answered: ”No, I am a prisoner myself.” I said it in Spanish and repeated it in pretty fair cla.s.sical Latin. I used Spanish because Peewee hadn't been quite correct. It was not Latin he spoke, not the Latin of Ovid and Gaius Julius Caesar. Nor was it Spanish. It was in between, with an atrocious accent and other differences. But I could worry out the meaning.

He sucked his lip and answered, ”That's bad. I've been trying for three days to attract attention and all I get is another prisoner. But that's how the die rolls. Say, that's a funny accent you have.”

”Sorry, amigo, but I have trouble understanding you, too.” I repeated it in Latin, then split the difference. I added, in improvised lingua franca, ”Speak slowly, will you?”

”I'll speak as I please. And don't call me 'amico'; I'm a Roman citizen -so don't get gay.”

That's a free translation. His advice was more vulgar-I think. It was close to a Spanish phrase which certainly is vulgar.

”What's he saying?” demanded Peewee. ”It is Latin, isn't it? Translate!”

I was glad she hadn't caught it. ”Why, Peewee, don't you know 'the language of poetry and science'?”

”Oh, don't be a smartie! Tell me.”

”Don't crowd me, hon. I'll tell you later. I'm having trouble following it.”

”What is that barbarian grunting?” the Roman said pleasantly. ”Talk language, boy. Or will you have ten with the flat of the sword?”

He seemed to be leaning on nothing-so I felt the air. It was solid; I decided not to worry about his threat. ”I'm talking as best I can. We spoke to each other in our own language.”

”Pig grunts. Talk Latin. If you can.” He looked at Peewee as if just noticing her. ”Your daughter? Want to sell her? If she had meat on her bones, she might be worth a half denario.”

Peewee clouded up. ”I understood that!” she said fiercely. ”Come out here and fight!”

”Try it in Latin,” I advised her. ”If he understands you, he'll probably spank you.”

She looked uneasy. ”You wouldn't let him?”

”You know I wouldn't.”

”Let's go back.”

”That's what I said earlier.” I escorted her past the cave man's lair to our suite. ”Peewee, I'm going back and see what our n.o.ble Roman has to say. Do you mind?”

”I certainly do!”

”Be reasonable, hon. If we could be hurt by them, the Mother Thing would know it. After all, she told us they were here.”

”I'll go with you.”

”What for? I'll tell you everything I learn. This may be a chance to find out what this silliness means. What's he doing here? Have they kept him in deep-freeze a couple of thousand years? How long has he been awake? What does he know that we don't? We're in a bad spot; all the data I can dig up we need. You can help by keeping out. If you're scared, send for the Mother Thing.”

She pouted. ”I'm not scared. All right-if that's the way you want it.”

”I do. Eat your dinner.”

Jo-Jo the dogface boy was not in sight; I gave his door a wide berth. If a s.h.i.+p can go anywhere in no time, could it skip a dimension and go anywhere to any time? How would the math work out? The soldier was still lounging at his door. He looked up. ”Didn't you hear me say to stick around?”

”I heard you,” I admitted, ”but we're not going to get anywhere if you take that att.i.tude. I'm not one of your privates.”

”Lucky for you!”

”Do we talk peacefully? Or do I leave?”

He looked me over. ”Peace. But don't get smart with me, barbarian.”

He called himself ”Iunio.” He had served in Spain and Gaul, then transferred to the VIth Legion, the ”Victrix”-which he felt that even a barbarian should know of. His legion's garrison was Eborac.u.m, north of Londinium in Britain, but he had been on advance duty as a brevet centurion (he p.r.o.nounced it ”centurio”)-his permanent rank was about like top sergeant. He was smaller than I am but I would not want to meet him in an alley. Nor at the palisades of a castra.

He had a low opinion of Britons and all barbarians including me (”nothing personal-some of my best friends are barbarians”), women, the British climate, high bra.s.s, and priests; he thought well of Caesar, Rome, the G.o.ds, and his own professional ability. The army wasn't what it used to be and the slump came from treating auxiliaries like Roman citizens.

He had been guarding the building of a wall to hold back barbarians-a nasty lot who would sneak up and slit your throat and eat you-which no doubt had happened to him, since he was now in the nether regions.

I thought he was talking about Hadrian's Wall, but it was three days' march north of there, where the seas were closest together. The climate there was terrible and the natives were bloodthirsty beasts who dyed their bodies and didn't appreciate civilization-you'd think the Eagles were trying to steal their d.i.n.ky island. Provincial . . . like me. No offense meant.

Nevertheless he had bought a little barbarian to wife and had been looking forward to garrison duty at Eborac.u.m-when this happened. Iunio shrugged. ”Perhaps if I had been careful with l.u.s.trations and sacrifices, my luck wouldn't have run out. But I figure that if a man does his duty and keeps himself and his weapons clean, the rest is the C.O.'s worry. Careful of that doorway; it's witched.”

The longer he talked the easier it was to understand him. The ”-us” endings turned to ”-o” and his vocabulary was not that of De Bello Gallico -”horse” wasn't ”equus”; it was ”caballo.” His idioms bothered me, plus the fact that his Latin was diluted by a dozen barbarian tongues. But you can blank out every third word in a newspaper and still catch the gist.

I learned a lot about the daily life and petty politics of the Victrix and nothing that I wanted to know. Iunio did not know how he had gotten where he was nor why-except that he was dead and awaiting disposition in a receiving barracks somewhere in the nether world-a theory which I was not yet prepared to accept.

He knew the year of his ”death”-Year Eight of the Emperor and Eight Hundred and Ninety-Nine of Rome. I wrote out the dates in Roman numerals to make sure. But I did not remember when Rome was founded nor could I identify the ”Caesar” even by his full name-there have been so many Caesars. But Hadrian's Wall had been built and Britain was still occupied; that placed lunio close to the third century.

He wasn't interested in the cave man across the way-it embodied to him the worst vice of a barbarian: cowardice. I didn't argue but I would be timid, too, if I had saber-toothed tigers yowling at my door. (Did they have sabertooths then? Make it ”cave bears.”) Iunio went back and returned with hard dark bread, cheese, and a cup. He did not offer me any and I don't think it was the barrier. He poured a little of his drink on the floor and started to chomp. It was a mud floor; the walls were rough stone and the ceiling was supported by wooden beams. It may have been a copy of dwellings during the occupation of Britain, but I'm no expert.

I didn't stay much longer. Not only did bread and cheese remind me that I was hungry, but I offended lunio. I don't know what set him off, but he discussed me with cold thoroughness, my eating habits, ancestry, appearance, conduct, and method of earning a living. Iunio was pleasant as long as you agreed with him, ignored insults, and deferred to him. Many older people demand this, even in buying a thirty-nine-cent can of talc.u.m; you learn to give it without thinking-otherwise you get a reputation as a fresh kid and potential juvenile delinquent. The less respect an older person deserves the more certain he is to demand it from anyone younger. So I left, as lunio didn't know anything helpful anyhow. As I went back I saw the cave man peering out his cave. I said, ”Take it easy, Jo-Jo,” and went on.

I b.u.mped into another invisible barrier blocking our archway. I felt it, then said quietly, ”I want to go in.” The barrier melted away and I walked in-then found that it was back in place.

My rubber soles made no noise and I didn't call out because Peewee might be asleep. Her door was open and I peeped in. She was sitting tailor-fas.h.i.+on on that incredible Oriental divan, rocking Madame Pompadour and crying.

I backed away, then returned whistling, making a racket, and calling to her. She popped out of her door, with smiling face and no trace of tears. ”Hi, Kip! It took you long enough.”

”That guy talks too much. What's new?”

”Nothing. I ate and you didn't come back, so I took a nap. You woke me. What did you find out?”

”Let me order dinner and I'll tell you while I eat.”

I was chasing the last bit of gravy when a bellhop robot came for us. It was like the other one except that it had in glowing gold on its front that triangle with three spirals. ”Follow me,” it said in English.

I looked at Peewee. ”Didn't the Mother Thing say she was coming back?”

”Why, I thought so.”

The machine repeated, ”Follow me. Your presence is required.”

I laid my ears back. I have taken lots of orders, some of which I shouldn't have, but I had never yet taken orders from a piece of machinery. ”Go climb a rope!” I said. ”You'll have to drag me.”