Part 4 (1/2)

”I know what you mean. Better to let that kind of thing fade. Talking about it only makes it worse, somehow. More real.”

Maybe he was right, Amy thought fleetingly. Maybe talking about it would make it worse. She wondered how he knew that. She'd been thinking lately that talking might help, but that was probably because she knew she couldn't talk about it. Perhaps she would just go silently crazy.

”I'm sorry I disturbed you, Jed. Did you hurt your leg?”

”No.” He settled one heavy arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. ”The leg will survive. It's you I'm worried about. You feel like you've got steel wire running through you. All stiff and tense.”

”It takes a while to come down off a nightmare.” So far it had taken eight months and she was showing no signs of improvement. The thought of living with this tension for the rest of her life was appalling.

Surely it would begin to fade someday.

”Do you have a lot of them?”

”Nightmares?”

”Yeah.”

Her head came up. ”I'm a restless sleeper. I've told you that. Me and about thirty million other Americans. I have problems with insomnia and sometimes I get these dreams. It's no big deal. I'm sorry I alarmed you.”

He patted her shoulder in an absently rea.s.suring manner. ”Don't worry about it.”

Something about the casual way he said that made Amy ask recklessly, ”Why? Have you been awakened by worse?”

He went still for an instant and then tipped up her chin so he could look directly into her eyes. ”There isn't anything worse than a woman's scream in the middle of the night. Are you sure you're okay, Amy?”

She nodded uncertainly. She was vividly aware of his warmth and strength as he held her close.

He released her chin but kept his arm around her shoulders. For a while they just sat silently on the couch. Amy's breathing slowed to a more reasonable rate as she quietly absorbed the rea.s.surance and comfort Jed willingly offered. When she felt the world had returned more or less to normal, she tried to ease away from him. ”Thanks, Jed. I'm fine now, really I am. There's no sense in you losing any more sleep. Go back to bed.”

”And leave you out here alone?”

”I'm used to being alone at night, remember?”

”Maybe that's part of your problem,” he murmured. He s.h.i.+fted, turning toward her on the couch. Sliding both palms around her throat and using his thumbs under her jaw he carefully held her still. His fingers moved on the nape of her neck with subtle, ma.s.saging pressure.

She saw the kindling heat in his eyes and a new kind of tension coiled within her. Amy knew his look for what it was, and she wasn't at all sure she wanted to deal with it now. ”You're used to being alone, too,”

she pointed out softly.

”So maybe we've both got a problem.” He lowered his head and brushed his mouth lightly against hers as if he were testing the waters.

Amy stiffened in spite of herself. Water was a bad mental image under the circ.u.mstances. Jed felt her immediate withdrawal.

”Hey, calm down,” he whispered. He cradled her head in one big hand and pushed her face gently against his bare chest. ”It's just me.”

”But I hardly know you,” she heard herself say bleakly, wondering why she had said the words aloud.

They sounded silly, considering the relations.h.i.+p that existed between her and Jed. He wasn't the kind of man she wanted back when she was looking for a good, gentle, kind man to love. She wanted a man who had sunlight, not shadow inside; a man who wanted a wife and a mother for his children as well as a lover. And now she had Jed, a man who was still nearly a stranger to her after three months. Six months from now he would still be a stranger. He was a man who was as silent about himself as she was about herself. Perhaps they deserved each other.

”Hush, Amy. You know me. I'm your friend, remember? You're still replaying the nightmare in your mind, aren't you? Stop thinking about it. It's the only way to handle it.” He kept her face pressed into the warmth of his chest while his other hand stroked her shoulder.

Amy s.h.i.+vered slightly in nervous reaction to his touch. He was right. She had to stop thinking about it or she really would go crazy. Deliberately she made herself concentrate on the warmth emanating from Jed's strong body.

It wasn't accurate to say he was a stranger because there were so many things she did know about him.

His scent, for instance. She inhaled deeply. She would know this scent in her mind until her dying day.

The essence of him was unique, very male, captivating and even comforting. There was honest sweat, clean soap and musky sensuality all mixed together. Amy relaxed and leaned against him.

”Much better,” Jed said in a voice made lazy with the beginnings of desire. ”Stop chasing around in circles in your head and let me hold you for a while.”

”Your leg-”

”Feels wonderful.”

”Your ribs-”

”Have never felt better.”

Amy choked on a m.u.f.fled exclamation that was almost a shaky laugh. ”I'll bet.”

”Believe me,” he said, ”I know what I'm doing.”

He eased her down onto the tumbled sheets and blankets that Amy had used to make the couch into a bed. She looked up at him, her amus.e.m.e.nt gone as she felt the rising heat in him. He settled himself alongside her, his injured leg lightly touching her leg. There was a tautness in him now that told its own ancient story.

”Why do you always look at me like that when you know I want to touch you?” Jed asked, letting his hand rest on the first b.u.t.ton of her flannel gown. The gesture was unthreaten-ing but almost excruciatingly intimate.

”How do I look at you?” Her bewilderment was plain in her eyes. He felt very big lying next to her like this. His shoulders blocked out the sight of the coals in the hearth.

He shrugged one broad shoulder. ”I'm not sure how to explain it. It's as if you're a little afraid of me.”

”I'm not afraid of you.”

”Wary, then. Cautious. Uncertain. h.e.l.l, I don't know. It's just something I see in your eyes when I get too close. Hiding a lover from me? Afraid I'll find out you've got something going on the side when I'm out of town?”

”Would it bother you if I did?”

He leaned down to nip half playfully at the curve of her throat. When he raised his head again his eyes were unreadable. ”It wouldn't be any of my business, would it?”

”No.”

He groaned and undid the b.u.t.tons of the flannel gown. Amy drew in her breath as his hand moved under the fabric. His fingers found the tip of her breast. ”It wouldn't be any of my business, but it would drive me out of my mind.”

”Jed?” Amy caught his face between her palms, trying to read his expression in the shadows.

He gave her a strange half smile. ”I realized that when I called you from L.A. I thought, what if she's not alone tonight? What if she's with someone else?”

”Started worrying about who would pick you up at the airport?” she demanded, her nervous attempt at humor making her voice a little uneven. She was violently aware of the warmth of his palm as it rested over her small breast.

”There's a s.a.d.i.s.tic teasing streak in you, Amy Slater.” His hazel eyes gleamed with a fresh surge of desire as his mouth closed over hers.