Part 28 (1/2)
”I thought not; it would not be like you. That being the case, isn't it time to do something definite?”
”Time, certainly,” Edward answered gloomily; ”but what's to do?”
”That brings me to the unfolding of my scheme. Edward, do you know that it was my lifelong desire to reach the point towards which you are looking?”
”_No_,” said Edward, with pitying interest; ”I never thought of it.”
”Well,” and Ray smiled sadly, ”it is so; and I hope you may never know how hard it is to have to give up such a wish. I cannot say that I did actually give it up entirely until very lately. I gave up all study three years ago, and came home to regain strength! _you_ know how well I have succeeded in that.” And Ray pressed his thin, wasting hand across his damp forehead. ”It is all over now, _utterly_.” The hand did duty now for a moment, shading his eyes from the light. Presently he spoke more cheerily. ”All over for myself, but not for you; so, Edward, what I want to say to-night, in brief, is this: You have talents, perseverance, and health; I have money,--the four combined cannot fail to speed you in your work. What say you?”
”I--I don't understand you,” Edward spoke, in complete bewilderment.
”Let me speak more plainly. I want you to go now, _immediately_, to some good preparatory school, thence to college, thence to the seminary, and the means wherewith to do these three important things shall be at your disposal. Isn't that plain?”
”Why,” said Edward, ”I don't know what to say; I am too much astonished, and--and thankful.”
”Then you will do it?”
”Only,--Ray?”
”Well?”
”Isn't there a right kind of pride, about being helped in these things?”
”There is a great deal of wrong kind of pride. Let me show you;” and he sat up and spoke eagerly. ”It is right and honourable for people to help themselves in this world, but very vain and foolish to refuse help which would greatly aid the cause that they profess to have at heart. You see how it is: G.o.d has given me money; I am ready and waiting to give it back to Him. I would gladly give myself to Him in the ministry; I have longed and prayed for this; but He has seen fit not to answer as I wished. I have no strength to give; you have, and are ready to give it. Do you think G.o.d would be less pleased with the offering if we united it, thus giving me a chance to do something?”
”No,” said Edward, speaking very slowly; ”only, I had hoped to accomplish my plans without help from any one but G.o.d.”
Ray leaned back again among the cus.h.i.+ons, and spoke wearily,--
”That is, you prefer to be a great many years longer in preparation than you need be, and have about half as much strength finally as you would have, had you not overworked, rather than give me a chance to do what I could, since I cannot do what I would.”
”But, Ray, there are plenty of people to help, even if you do no more for me. The world is full of poor young men, struggling to get an education.”
”Yes, that is so; and I suppose you would enjoy helping some young man out in Oregon, of whom you had never heard, quite as well as you would me.”
Edward came quickly to the sofa where Ray was lying, and laid his hand tenderly over the closed eyes.
”Ray, there is nothing in the world I would not do for you.”
”Will you let me help you into the ministry, as rapidly as money _can_ help?”
”I will be glad to; it is a great, n.o.ble offer, and I thank you from my heart. You mustn't think that I don't; only I thought--perhaps”
”I know,” said Ray, for Edward had stopped doubtfully; ”I understand just how you feel; but I _do_ think the feeling, in this case at least, is wrong; and, my dear brother, you will be glad when you know how thankful you have made me.”
”Yes; and after all you will not be doing any more for me--you _can't_--than you have done. I think money is very little, compared with that. Ray,” and Edward sank down among the cus.h.i.+ons in front of him, ”I do believe you are more to me than any other human being ever will be.”
Ray smiled, quite as if he did not think so, but would not unsay it for anything.